Many people have been in purely sexual relationships at one point or another. Whether it is a one-night stand, no-strings-attached romance, or a friends-with-benefits setup, there are many different ways to engage in strictly physical connections with one or even several partners.
But do these sexual relations stay as they are all the time? Can casual hookup dating turn into a serious relationship, too?
If your casual hookup seems worthy of monogamous arrangements, phone sessions till the break of dawn, or even falling head over heels in love, you probably find yourself wondering if you can make it official, and how you can go about it in the first place.
The good news is that yes, it is very much possible and even common for casual hookup dating to turn into a serious relationship.
However, just like other heart-related matters, starting a new relationship doesn’t just happen overnight. Thankfully, things are easier when the other person has already a special place in your heart and mind.
Here are some tips on how to go from a casual to a committed relationship:
Bring Up the Topic Lightly
If it has already been several months and the other person hasn’t dropped a single hint about where things are going, don’t hesitate to speak up. You don’t need to stay in the dark forever, you know.
For example, if you want them to meet your parents, try to ask if they want to visit for dinner. Just make sure you also let them know that it won’t be a problem if they are not ready for it yet. More importantly, keep your tone light and always maintain open communication lines.
If you have the full confidence that you are ready to get into something more serious, let them know that you are ready to go from a casual hookup to a committed relationship. If they don’t seem open to the discussion, give them time to mull over the issue for several weeks. If they still don’t respond the next time you bring it up, you might want to reconsider the relationship once and for all.
Don’t Rush in Defining the Relationship
This might sound a bit counterintuitive. However, if you want to go from hookup dating to a serious relationship, take a deep breath before you bring up the talks about DTR or “define the relationship.”
DTR is the point when you finally bring up the question of what the two of you are to each other. However, since good relationships are built on momentum, halting all the fun to have the DTR discussion can sometimes kill the romance before it even starts.
Of course, things are different for all couples. But the last thing you want is to bring up the question right when you are enjoying a fun dinner with friends. If the other person shows signs or admits that they are nervous about something more serious, it gives you more reason to get a feel of the situation first before you drop the bomb.
People wary of commitment like to feel that they are the ones to decide to be with you. They never appreciate being coaxed into doing something.
Highlight Your Selfless Side
Your potential partner will probably start looking at you more seriously when you spend your time doing things for a cause, whether it is supporting a charity group or something as simple as helping the elderly carry their groceries.
Believe it or not, most people find their potential sexual partners more attractive for a serious relationship if they see the altruistic qualities of the other person. Giving back to other people is a great way to show your integrity and kind heart.
Now, it doesn’t mean you should volunteer every chance you get just to impress your partner. Instead, a potential serious partner should and hopefully would see you and your wonderful qualities that will make them want to go steady. But still, even those smallest acts of kindness will do wonders to lift your mood and make you look swoony in the eyes of your special someone.
Don’t Lose Your Sense of Self
It is all too easy to forget about yourself once you meet the person you wish to become your lifetime partner. However, this shouldn’t be the case at all. People will see it right away if you try to be someone you are not.
A partner who deserves you should embrace your personality, positive and negative alike. If you don’t have the slightest affinity for art or musicals, don’t pretend to like the Mona Lisa or Phantom of the Opera just because the other person is a fan.
Do you love gardening? Are you crazy about jigsaw puzzles? Go ahead and own your passion. Staying true to yourself and not being pretentious is important. Maintaining your interests is a great way to show that you have an exciting life, whether you are with your partner or not.
Your partner will find you more appealing and attractive if you don’t lose your strength and autonomy, and if you always prioritize your sense of self over the relationship.
Ensure That You Want Something More
So you think you are ready to shift from casual to something more serious? But before doing anything else, ensure that you truly want it without any doubts or questions. Take a step back first and ask yourself a few questions.
Do you find your partner fun? Does it lift your mood every time you are with the person? Do you feel good about yourself after you part ways? Do you feel respected and appreciated? Does your partner make your life better?
Aside from asking yourself these important questions, it is also time to consider jealousy. If the other person tries to manipulate everything you do or acts too jealous all the time, it is best to reassess things before you decide to commit to a serious relationship.
Never settle for anything less when you know you deserve more. Casual hookups might be great but if you think you are ready for something more serious, don’t hesitate to give it a go, especially once you have confirmed that your partner feels the same way.